Left Behind
by Silver on the Tree
Summary: What would happen, if your father was from the Light and your mother from the Dark?
1. Chapter 1

Left Behind

Chapter One

Disclaimer: The Dark is Rising Sequence and all its characters belong to Susan Cooper, and I would never take credit for her wonderful work. This plot does belong to me, though.

Will strolled down the road, his hands in his pockets. It was an ordinary day in December; cold and dreary, the snow nothing but gray slush.  The bare trees stood out against the gray sky, and everything seemed devoid of color. All was quiet; no one seemed to be outside.

Will wouldn't have been outside, either, except that he had decided to escape the inevitable chaos that reigned in the Stanton household.  

It wasn't really anything; normally being around a lot of people was comforting, but not today. And well, he just wished it would snow properly. 

He knew he wasn't a ten year-old anymore; he was fourteen, and an Old One, and he was aware of the fact that he was getting old for this. 

But he couldn't help just feeling that way. Oh well, he had an eternity to grow up anyway. 

Just then a shout broke the silence and he looked up sharply.

 "Give it back!" he heard someone yell.

"You'll have to come and get it," another voice taunted.

Will turned round the corner and saw Richie Moore laughing and dangling a book in the air, while a girl stood on tiptoe, trying to grab it from his hand.

It looked like Richie had found a new target, aside from Manny Singh. 

Will's blood boiled. Ordinarily Richie had the decency not to pick on girls, but apparently he'd decided dark-skinned ones were an exception.

The girl jumped after the book, then slipped on the ice-coated pavement and fell. Richie roared in laughter. 

Will decided right then and there that it was time to intervene and hurried forward. 

"Richie!" he called angrily. 

The boy looked up, then sneered at him. "Hello, Will."

Before Will could say anything, the girl, glaring up at Richie, thrust her leg up and kicked the bully between his legs.  Richie gasped in pain, and dropped the book.

The girl caught the book and scrambled to her feet. Hurling Richie a withering look over her shoulder, she bolted down the street.

Too late Will realized that he was in the way, and they both went crashing to the ground.

Slowly they both sat up, groaning.

"That's it," the girl said under her breath. "I hate snow."  
Will looked up and saw that Richie had recovered, and was rushing towards the girl.

Quickly he got to his feet, blocking Richie.

"Out of the way, Stanton," Richie snarled.

Just then, a car rolled by, and slowed to a stop beside them.

"Everything all right, boys?" the window rolled down to reveal their teacher, Mr. Dawkins.

"Yes, sir," Richie replied sullenly.

"Good, good," Mr. Dawkins said cheerfully. "Ah, hello Anika."

"Good afternoon, sir," the girl replied, standing up. 

"I see you've met my students."

"Um, not really, we just bumped into each other," Anika said, glancing at Will and then Richie.

"Well then, Anika, this is Will Stanton, and Richie Moore. They'll be your classmates when you join us after Christmas break. Richie, Will, this is Anika Santiago. She's a new student and comes from the Philippines."

"Hello," said Will, shaking Anika's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Hi," Anika replied, grinning.

"Speaking of which, Anika, haven't you got a birthday coming soon?" 

"It's today, sir!" Anika said cheerfully.

"Oh, my apologies! Happy birthday, then. Say, Will, isn't your birthday the day after tomorrow?"

"Er, yes it is," Will replied.

"What a coincidence!" Mr. Dawkins exclaimed.

"I should be getting home," Richie said gruffly. "Almost teatime."

"Do you need a ride? It's getting rather dark out," said Mr. Dawkins.

"No thank you," Richie replied. "My house is only a block away anyway."

With that, he disappeared round the corner.

Mr. Dawkins nodded at Will and Anika. "What about you?"

"No thank you," Will said respectfully.

Anika smiled and shook her head.

"All right then," and Mr. Dawkins drove on.

"Sorry," Anika said to Will.

"What for?"

"For bumping into you like that. And thanks for, um, defending me. That was really nice of you."

"Er, you're welcome," Will replied awkwardly. "And happy birthday."

"Thanks. Advanced happy birthday to you."

 "Well, uh, Richie was right, it is almost teatime, and I should be going too," Will said. 

"Oh, okay. See you when school starts," Anika said cheerfully.

Will turned white and stared at her, but by this time she was jogging off.

Did he hear her wrong, or did she just say that in the Old Speech?

He stood there for a few more seconds, baffled. Then he shook his head. In any case, she was gone. He would just have to look for her again sometime.

So much for an ordinary winter day.

* * *

Anika sighed as she jogged towards her house. 

So much for a happy birthday. Coming face to face with some jerk. Still, apart from that the day had been all right. But what was a birthday when you were miles apart from your friends and family? Except, of course, for your eldest sister.

"Hi, Ate!" she said cheerfully as she entered the door.

"Take off your boots," Katherine said automatically.

Anika obediently took them off, and hung her coat before coming in. "Wow, that smells good," she said. "Lasagna, I love lasagna!"

They both fell silent for a moment. Each knew what the other was thinking of. Their mother. Mrs. Santiago didn't cook, they'd had a maid for that, but the few things she could cook, meat loaf, lasagna, and pasta, were always delicious.

But that was before she'd disappeared. No one knew what had happened. It was just as if one day, Mr. and Mrs. Santiago ceased to exist, leaving behind their children. That was two years ago, when Anika was twelve and Katherine twenty two. And their siblings, Kristin and Michael, had been twenty and nineteen.

And now, Katherine had decided she needed to get away somewhere. And somewhere happened to be Buckinghamshire. But Kristin was in the middle of medical school, and Michael, an NGO worker, helping improve the health services in Batanes.

So they agreed that Katherine and Anika would go ahead and settle in England, and maybe in a few years Kristin and Michael would follow.

But none of that would have happened, Anika thought bitterly, if their parents hadn't suddenly gone without a trace. It was something that baffled everyone. They had no enemies, and there were no reports of any kidnappings, or of any dead bodies found, or anything. The police had no idea where to start.

None of the Santiago children had really completely healed since then, and they rarely dared to talk about it.

Anika shook her head. No use thinking about that. Besides, she ought to be or at least act happy, after all, it was her birthday. 

But wasn't that kind of selfish? a little voice in her head asked.

No, I don't think so, Anika replied to it. I don't think Mom and Dad would want me to be depressed on my birthday, either. It's not like I'm forgetting them or anything.

"Anything I can do?" she asked brightly.

Katherine smiled. "You can set the table."

* * *

It was Christmas Eve. The Christmas lights were turned on, all the presents were wrapped, and Will sat on the rug before the fire, thinking. 

Over the past few days he had not had a chance to look for Anika, what with all the Christmas preparations. But she was always on his mind, and he was itching to find out why she was here and who she really was, and how she had known the Old Speech. 

And he wished, oh he wished, that Merriman were there to guide him. Surely Merriman would know about her, surely he would know what to do. But he wasn't here. Will was alone now, and he would have to do this himself.

Merriman, where are you when I need you? he cried out silently. 

"Well, who's going on the trek this year?"

Will jumped slightly, then realized it was his father, asking who would join in the Christmas caroling. 

"Me and Will, of course," said James. "And Paul."

"Come on, Robin," said Paul. "It shan't be the same without you."

"I didn't even say anything yet," Robin protested.

"I take that as a yes."

"I'm going this time," said Gwen.

"I'll go, too," said Barbara. 

"So will I," Mary added.

"I was thinking," said Mrs. Stanton, coming in from the kitchen, "that you might pay a visit to the Santiagos, too, and give them a proper welcome. After all, they must be a bit lonely, it being just the two of them, and so far away from home."

"All right," said Mr. Stanton.

Will grinned. He needn't have worried; the opportunity would come at the right time.

"Be back by nine-thirty," said Mrs. Stanton. 

They trudged through the snow, going from house to house, singing all the usual carols. Then last of all, on the way home, they stopped by the Santiagos'.

Katherine and Anika opened the door, the happy astonishment evident on their faces.

"Wow, do you do this every Christmas?" Katherine asked when they had finished. 

"Yes, don't you?" said James.

"Nope," Anika answered. "It's not really a tradition in the Philippines. That's where we come from. Hello, Will."

"Hi," Will replied.

"You know each other already?" said Mr. Stanton.

"We bumped into each other a few days ago," said Anika. "Literally."

"Would you like to come in?" Katherine asked politely. "I'm Katherine Santiago, and this is my sister, Anika."

"I'm Mr. Stanton," Will's father said. "This is Barbara, Gwen, Robin, Paul, Mary, James, and Will. We live at the old vicarage."

"And yes thank you, I think we could stay for just a minute," Will added quickly.

Soon everyone was seated around the living room, making polite, boring grown-up conversation.

Will sat beside Anika and said, "Did you have a nice birthday?"

"It was all right," Anika replied. "And you?"

"Same here. Anika," he said suddenly, "Who are you, really?"

"What?" Anika gave him a puzzled look. "I told you already, I'm Anika Santiago."

Will gazed at her, trying to read her mind and see if she was lying. Or if she would put up a wall of resistance.

Surprisingly, he had no difficulty at all entering her thoughts, and found her wondering if something was not wrong with Will Stanton. Even more baffling, he sensed something about her that was of the Dark, but not completely, and something too, that was somewhat of the Light. 

But it was not the same thing he had sensed with Bran, who was not of the Dark or the Light, but of the High Magic. 

This girl was like a mixture of everything…but how was that possible? And besides, it seemed that she wasn't aware of it at all.

"By the way," he found himself asking, "the day before your birthday, did anything strange happen?"

"No, not really."

"Did the TV screen get all fuzzy, or did the radio make strange sounds when you passed by?"

"Now that you mention it," Anika said, staring at him, "we thought the TV was broken, but it worked the next day. How did you know?"

"Oh, nothing," Will answered. "The reception on our television was pretty bad, too. Must have been something with the channel."

Soon the Stantons were off on their way home again. Will was quiet the whole time; it seemed his little visit had left him with more questions than answers.

A/N: 'Ate' is what Filipinos call their eldest sisters, and it's pronounced 'Ah-teh'. Batanes is a small group of islands at the northernmost tip of the Philippines, which in case you don't know, is a small archipelago in Southeast Asia. And also in case you don't know, NGO stands for Non-Governent Organization. Please oh please oh please review, this is my very first The Dark is Rising fanfic! Besides, I have the feeling there's something wrong with the flow of the story, but I'm not sure what it is.


	2. Chapter 2

Left Behind

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: The Dark is Rising Sequence and all its characters belong to Susan Cooper, and I would never take credit for her wonderful work. This plot does belong to me, though.

Will was never quite sure afterwards whether what had happened was a dream or not. But that didn't really matter, did it?

"Will. Wake up, Will," a familiar voice said urgently. 

Will opened his eyes, and saw Merriman bending over him.

"_Merriman! " _

Merriman gave a sort of half-smile then said, "It has been a long time, Will the Watcher. But I have an urgent message to bring you. I trust you've met Anika Santiago." It was more of a statement than a question.  
Immediately Will sobered. "Yes. She confuses me, Merriman. I sense the Dark in her, but I sense the Light, too. It is not like Bran, who was neither. She…she is _both_."  
Merriman nodded. "That is because her father was from the Light, and her mother from the Dark."

Will gawked at him, speechless, and Merriman gazed back at him. Finally he said incredulously, "But…_how_? And if that is so, shouldn't I have sensed the same thing in her sister, Katherine?"

 Merriman gave a sort of tired sigh, and replied, "To this day we do not know. But what we _do know is that her siblings were born when the High Magic was not yet awakened, and the Dark had not begun to rise, and so they were able to find a way to erase the powers of Anika's siblings. _

"And sooner or later, Anika will have to choose between the Light and the Dark, between becoming an Old One and one of the Dark. For two such opposite forces cannot exist in one body for long. Sooner or later it will break her mind.

And should she choose to become one of the Dark, then even the High Magic will be broken, for by the command of the Light when we cut the blossom from the tree, none of the Dark should exist. And then the Dark will return, the Rider and all the Masters of the Dark, and all its following. And the Dark will come rising, once again. 

"And all those of the Light will be forced to return, too. But if she were to choose the Light…then nothing will happen. She would simply become another Watcher, like you. So you see now, Will, why her parents took the powers of her older siblings. There would have been great peril for them, as there is for her now. 

But when she was born, Will, her parents had not been expecting her. She was born too near the next Rising, and too near to the birth of the last and youngest of the Old Ones, who would play a vital part in keeping the Dark from rising. The High Magic discovered her and her existence. It was too late for her parents to take her powers."  
Will nodded gravely, absorbing all these things that were being said to him.

"So," he said slowly, "someone has to tell her all this."  
Merriman nodded. "And teach her to control her powers, at least till she decides. Dark and Light are a dangerous and powerful combination. We are not even certain what she is truly capable of. She will be a danger to herself and to those around her, Old One or human."  
"I feel like a minesweeper," Will said ruefully.

Merriman gave a nervous sort of laugh. "In a way, you are. You must take care not to influence her towards becoming one of the Light, for her decision must be her own. Nor must you leave her alone, and simply let her go to the Dark."

Will laid his head on his hand and closed his eyes. 

Merriman laid his hand on the boy's shoulder sympathetically and said, "I know. It is a difficult task, and I wish I could be here to help you. But I believe in you, Will. We all do."  
Will looked up and smiled. "Well, I've no choice, have I? I will just have to do my best."

                                                            *          *          *

"Anika. Anika Santiago."  
Anika opened her eyes, and saw a man standing before her bed. He wore a black cloak, and his face, with its red hair and piercing blue eyes, seemed to have a sort of faint glow about them in the dark. 

She noticed he was holding something…her eyes followed his arm, and she saw that he was holding the reins of a huge black horse. A completely black horse, with no markings of any kind. None that she could see, anyway. 

She felt a chill run up her spine…it was half frightening, half thrilling.

"Who are you?" she asked the man. "And what are you doing here?"

The man gave a sort of half-smile.

"I am the Rider," he replied. "And I have come to call you…call you to your true destiny."

"My destiny?"

"Your destiny as one of the Dark. You were born, Anika, to bring us back. And then we will rise again." In the beginning, his voice was calm. But then, as he went on, she could feel the excitement, the anticipation in his voice. "And this time, none will stop us, not even the Light. For all their things of power, they will be powerless to stop us."

Anika smiled. His words thrilled her, filled her with a strange sort of delight. It was so that she giggled.

The Rider smiled back, and held out his hand. "Come, Anika. Come with us, become one of us, as you were meant to, and your powers will increase a thousand fold. Once you have gained control of them, you will become a Lord of the Dark. A Lady, rather. And," he added, "You will finally be with your mother again. She will be so pleased."

Anika lifted her hand…her fingers were no more than a centimeter from his now…when suddenly, something in her rejected it all, and she drew back quickly. No! No! No! something silently screamed. You do not belong with them, you do not belong with them at all…

She pressed herself against the headboard, not out of fear but out of repulsion. 

Still the Rider held out his hand. "Come, Anika," he repeated.

Anika gave no answer. 

"It is _them, isn't it. The Light." It was a statement, not a question._

Still Anika said nothing.

"They're holding you back," the Rider said, his voice rising in fury. "I will return, Anika. Until then, do not forget where you truly belong."  
He disappeared, and the next thing Anika knew she was back in bed. 

She sat up, and realized she was out of breath. She wiped the drops of sweat from her forehead, and glanced at the clock. Good, it was 6:30 am. She wouldn't have to get back to sleep again…

She laid her head her knees. What had _that_ been about? She wanted very much to dismiss it as a dream, but deep down, some part of her knew that it was very real. The strange thing was, she wasn't really afraid. It would have been like being afraid of her sister…she was somewhat of the same kind as the Rider, really…and of this Light he mentioned.

_Argh__! She screamed inwardly. __What am I thinking? Maybe I should have myself exorcised... Wait a minute, what was that bit about my mom?_


	3. Chapter 3

Left Behind

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: The Dark is Rising Sequence and all its characters belong to Susan Cooper, and I would never take credit for her wonderful work. This plot does belong to me, though.

A/N: Hey, thanks for the reviews everyone! And about the second chapter, sorry about that…Anika and Anna are one and the same, it's just that Anika's name used to be Anna, and I wrote the bit about the Rider before I even began this fanfic. So, when I transferred that part from my notebook to the computer, I forgot to change her name. *grins sheepishly*

Anyways, if Anika starts to become a Mary-Sue, or Will gets too out-of-character or anything like that, please tell me, because I DO NOT want to end up doing that! But if it's not too much trouble maybe you could point out the parts that they get that way too.

Zara: Thanks for telling me about that whole deux-en-machina thing, I'll try to remember that. But, well, Mr. Dawkins is there already, so I guess I might as well just  leave him alone. Thanks so much for all the suggestions! 

Silent H: I think Will would probably grow old then stay old, because otherwise his family might notice, but then we can never be sure…

Anyway, enough with the babbling, on with the story! = )

Will lay on his bed, deep in thought.

So…was that what he was supposed to watch out for all along? Anika?

He knew now that last night Merriman had gone to great lengths to reach him, from wherever he was, and that it was the last bit of communication that he could manage.

In fact, he hoped he _wouldn't have to hear from Merriman again, not that he didn't miss him, it was just that it would mean there was something else that was not right with the world, and Will had enough on his hands already._

And aside from that, there was the whole issue of how Anika would feel after being told all this. It would not be pretty.

Will gave a sort of agitated sigh. He felt an increasing sense of urgency, a feeling that told him he had to get to Anika as soon as possible. It had been five days since her birthday, five days since the Old One and the one of the Dark had been awakened in her. Who knew what was going on inside of her? Was she even aware of it? 

It was like knowing there was a mine in a field but not having the time to remove it. Until you could get to it, you had to worry about whether someone might step on it or not.

He heard James yawn, and quickly closed his eyes.

Soon he felt a hand shaking him.

"Hey, are you waking up or not? It's Christmas morning!"

It was two days after Christmas Day. Will could hardly stand the tension singing in his head. 

In any case he could see no reason for any further delay. 

"I'm going for a walk, Mom," he said right after breakfast. 

"All right," his mother said, but by that time Will was sprinting out the door.

Anika wasn't there when he went to her house, and he jogged around the village, looking for her.

Finally he leaned against a tree, panting, when he saw her leaning against another tree, with her legs drawn up against her chest. She was staring in to space, and there was an expression of misery on her face, as though she longed to be somewhere else. It all suddenly reminded him of the centurion, in the painting at his house. 

It was slightly disconcerting, the way she always unconsciously reminded him of the past, and how he missed it. 

But he would have to push that all from his mind now; he had work to do.

 "Hello," he said, standing in front of her.

Anika jumped, then relaxed when she looked up at him. "Oh, okay, it's you." She watched him with an expectant look on her face as he sat down beside her, waiting for him to say something.

 And he was about to, when she said suddenly, "Will?"

"Yes?" he replied, a little taken aback.

She looked up at him hesitantly, then said slowly, "There…there's something abut you, isn't there, that makes you different from everyone else? And I know I'm somewhat like that, too." Here she stared at him with a somewhat defiant look, as though challenging him to deny what she had just said. "I just realized there was something different with me, right after you and your family left, last Christmas Eve. And that night, I had a weird kind of dream, too. I don't exactly understand _what's_ different with me...I just know it's something not normal, it's something that happened just now. It started, the night before my birthday. I just – I don't understand it! And I wonder if I'm not going insane…But then I know I can't be insane, because it's all very real. And a few weird things have been happening too…and it's scaring me…and I know you know something about it. And…just…couldn't you tell me?"

There was a plaintive, uncertain note in her voice at the last sentence, that pleaded for answers but wasn't sure where to get them, and Will felt a sudden surge of sympathy for her. He realized that since she had come into her power, there had been no one to guide her, none to explain it to her, the way there had been for him. 

_Oh, stupid, stupid! I should have come to her sooner, who knows what could've…_

Anika looked at him expectantly.

He took in a deep breath, then said, "All right, it is like this. Until two years ago, Anika, when we were both twelve years old, there were two forces in the world called the Dark and the Light. And there was the High Magic, the only power that could order them both. 

Well…you see, there was the Old Magic of the earth, and the Wild Magic of the living things, but it was – and still is – men who controlled what happened on earth. And there was the Dark and the Light, and the universe, which was bound by the law of the High Magic. 

And the Dark, by its nature, sought to take control of the earth and enslave man. And it was the task of the Light to prevent them. Throughout the history of the world, the Dark has risen, and the Light has kept it at bay. But two years ago, there was the final Rising of the Dark…" 

As he spoke, time seemed to stand still, and Anika listened intently while he told her of the final battle between the Light and the Dark, and of his role in it, and of Merriman, the first and oldest of the Old Ones, and Bran Pendragon, the son of King Arthur, and of the three humans Simon, Barney and Jane. 

His voice changed as he spoke. It was as though he were reliving every moment of the tale (except it was not just a tale, it really _had_ happened), and there was a mixture of pride and longing in his voice. And he didn't seem at all like a fourteen year-old boy anymore, but older and wiser.

And something stirred in her mind, as though she had known all this all along, and it had just been resting somewhere deep in her memory, something that had been in her from the moment she was born. It was as though there was a fog in her head, ever since her fourteenth birthday, and only now was it starting to clear. But not completely. Not just yet.

"...But where do I come into all of this?" she asked. "What does all that have to do with me?"

Will gazed at her then with such a look of pity and sympathy that it alarmed her.

"You see, Anika," he said, "Your father was from the Light and your mother from the Dark. We don't know _how _they ended up together, only that they kept it a secret, and when your brother and sisters were born, they took their powers, so that your siblings became human. But they weren't able to do the same thing with you, for the High Magic discovered you and stopped them. 

And so your parents were unable to do anything…and now, Anika, you have come into your full power, as an Old One and as one of the Dark. The problem is, two such opposite forces cannot exist in one body for long. You must choose, between the Light and the Dark, before you go insane.  And until you decide, you must learn to take control of your powers. And that is what I am here for."

Anika stared at him for a long time. 

There was no expression at all in her face, except in her eyes.

Will knew that if he had not been an Old One he would have quailed under the force of that stare.

But he _was_ an Old One, and so he simply gazed back at her, waiting to see what would be her next reaction. He could see there was something in her eyes that shifted from time to time, but he could not quite tell what.

Finally she said, in a flat voice that was not quite her own, "So my mother is of the Dark?"

Will knew that would have come up sooner or later, but he cringed inwardly anyway. "Yes," he replied cautiously. "She was."  
"And…supposedly, those of the Dark are not capable of loving? They have no feelings at all, no, nothing? And their only goal is to…take control of the world and enslave man?"

Will only continued to gaze at her. They both knew the answer, and it would just cause more trouble if he said it out loud.

"You're wrong," Anika said, the rage creeping into her voice. "My mother – she wasn't – _isn't like that at all. Look at me – I know how to love, don't I?"  
Will looked at her quizzically, which only irritated her further._

"I may be half of the Dark, but before I knew any of this, I believe I did know how to love, and I still do! And who taught me how? My mother! My mother, who is of the Dark and who does not know how to love. And my siblings…they're human, and they know how to love, and you know they learned it from my mother and my father. So tell me, how can someone who cannot love teach others to love? We were a pretty happy family before all this, you know – other people even envied us! And we all got along, more than most families do – so how is that, when…" she trailed off and looked at him.

"The Dark can pretend to love," Will replied softly. "Sometimes the nicest, most ordinary people in the world could really be of the Dark."  
Anika glared at him, and Will knew that some of that glare came from the Dark one in her. She was sinking herself into it on purpose.

"So you're saying that everything she taught us was fake? All the love she poured into us, it wasn't real? I'm sorry, but until you've been loved, or, if what you're saying is right, been – fakely loved or whatever  - by one of the Dark, I don't think you or anyone should start talking about  those of the Dark not being able to love. For all you know when they're just being ordinary people they really do love, or…something. Or maybe my mother was special…" 

Will could hear the uncertainty coming into her voice again, and was at once reminded of John Rowlands, and felt that wave of sympathy wash over him again. He never thought he'd have to encounter a situation like this all over again. But unlike John Rowlands, Anika was completely unwilling to accept the truth, and in any case could not be made to forget.

He looked at Anika and saw the hatred very clearly in her face.

"Don't look at me like that," she said coldly. "I don't need your _pity_."

With that she got up and ran off.


	4. Chapter 4

Left Behind by Silver on the Tree

Chapter Four

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: The Dark is Rising Sequence and all its characters belong to Susan Cooper, and I would never take credit for her wonderful work. This plot does belong to me, though.

_Whatever, just because my mom's of the Dark he looks at me like that, like it's something to get depressed about…just because he's of the Light. They don't know anything about the Dark…just because to _them_…But then…Mom really did love us, didn't she?_

Anika stopped running. _She did, the voice in her mind replied firmly, blocking out any other possibility. _She did.__

_I just want to go home…I want to get away from this darned place and all its cold and wet and mist and fog…I wish we were back together, Ate and Ditche and Kuya and I, and Lolo and Lola…everything's _wrong _here, I wish we'd never come…not that that was my choice, anyway._

Little by little, her anger collapsed into misery, as she continued to walk home.

                                                                                                *           *           *

Will watched Anika's running figure disappear rapidly around the corner, and stared still even after she was gone.

"That was a very good start," he thought out loud.

Sighing, he tilted his head back and glanced up at the rooks nesting in the tree. "Don't you agree?"

He continued to look up at them for a couple of seconds, then finally got up, dusted the snow off his rear and walked home.

                                                                                                *           *           *

Anika unlocked the door to her house, took off her wet things and flopped wearily on the couch.

She didn't even want to think of what had happened just ten minutes ago. It was true, she couldn't deny that, but it just wasn't something she wanted to think about right now.

Damn, it's so cold in this country…and wet, and everything. There isn't enough snow to play with or anything, and once you've gotten used to it there's nothing special, it's just a  nuisance, and it's depressing…

She glanced at the fireplace. And there's this useless old thing, we don't even know how to make a fire, so if there's a black-out we'll freeze to death…

She looked up at the ceiling.

I wonder what it's like, to get to sit in front of the fire, after you've been out in the snow a really long time, maybe after you've had a snowball fight with your friends or maybe your family, and then your mom makes you hot chocolate or something…all those Christmas songs make it sound so nice…and you probably don't end up feeling as lonely as I do right now…

There was a crackling sound. Anika bent her head to her left, then sprang up and backwards in shock so that the couch moved.

She felt a sensation of both warmth and coldness filling the room, and stared at the fire blazing in the fireplace. Some of the flames had a normal appearance, yellow, red, orange, while others were an icy blue. The colors shifted and moved around within the boundaries of the flames, completely distinct from one another, like oil and water just poured into a glass, still swirling around and around. 

Anika became aware of a mounting feeling of panic, as she suddenly knew it was she who had created this fire.

This is not happening…How am I supposed to…oh, just get out!

And the fire disappeared as suddenly as it had come. 

Anika stared at it, wide-eyed. Then she got up shakily and ran up the stairs.

                                                                                                *           *           *

Anika bolted into her room, slammed the door and collapsed against the wall, panting.

She drew up her knees against her chest then held up the palms of her hands and looked at them.

She could feel it now; a force flowing through her veins; a source of immense power and energy that she knew next to nothing about, over which she had no control.

She had no idea what to do, and sat still, hoping perhaps that if she remained motionless and did nothing, nothing would happen, nothing could trigger whatever powers she contained. She felt absolutely helpless, at the mercy of it all.

_That's all I am…a container…I can't do anything if this nuclear stuff pours out of me…I'm a careless mistake, that's what I am, but unlike my brother and sisters, there was no time for _me_ to be corrected…_

She let out a frustrated sigh, like a breathy sort of whine and clenched her fists. _As if hormones wasn't bad enough! I don't want this, never wanted this, I don't want this at ALL!_

                                                                                                *           *           *

"Anika? Anika, if you want to sleep you should sleep on your bed, you'll get sore if you sit on the floor like that…" a voice said.

Anika felt a hand shaking her gently and opened her eyes groggily.

Katherine squatted in front of her.

"I'm awake," she replied, yawning. "I can't believe I fell asleep, I didn't even mean to."

"Are you all right? You seem really tired."

"Yeah, I'm okay, I probably still have jetlag."

"Well, sleep some more then. If you don't wake up in time for dinner I'll just heat it for you when you do wake up," Katherine replied.

"Okay, _Ate_." Anika got up slowly, stretching, then crawled into bed.

Katherine stood up then closed the door as she left.

                                                                                                *           *           *

It was morning. Anika snuggled under the sheets, reveling in the comfort and safety of her bed.

Then she remembered. 

_Will Stanton…Old Ones…Dark…Light…quest…victory…_Mom and Dad.

The burden she had been carrying the day before made itself known once more. But this time, everything showed itself with a little more clarity, and she was no longer under the influence of her emotions. At least, not as much as she had been yesterday. As far as she was concerned, being emotional was as good as being drunk.  And right now she was still miserable, but she wasn't exactly enraged or in shock.

Mom and Dad…so now she knew what had happened to them. It was unfair, that because of them their children had had to suffer, that because of them, she and her brother and sisters had had to grieve…she felt her anger growing in her again. Or was it _really _anger, or was it bitterness? All right, so she was still _pretty emotional…_

And how _had_ they ended up together? _That_ was what she'd like to know. And, well, frankly, how could they have been THAT stupid? Not that she didn't appreciate them bringing her into existence, but…and anyway, they'd tried to fix what they'd done. They'd lifted the burden from her brother and sisters, it was just that it had been too late for her. And well…throwing all that aside, they'd been pretty good parents…

 And that fire…it still sent a chill down her spine, but that had come from her, hadn't it, and she wasn't afraid of herself  - well, not really – so why should she be afraid of that, even if it was multi-colored? I'd better tell Will about that…

Then a wave of horror washed over her as she realized. 

_Don't look at me like that. I don't need your _pity_…_

Will! Oh, shoot, he hadn't deserved that at all, that was totally uncalled for…she had to apologize as soon as possible. Well, now that she thought about it, that was the Dark one in her talking yesterday, but still! 

I wonder, now, will I always be either an Old One or a Dark one? Won't I ever be just Anika?

Anika made an irritated sound and sat up quickly, pushing the covers away, then jumped out of bed. _I'm not thinking about it, I'm just going to eat breakfast, look for Will and say sorry. That's what Anika would do, at any rate._

"Morning, _Ate_!" she said cheerfully as she walked into the kitchen.

"Morning," Katherine replied, looking up from the newspaper, which was spread out on the kitchen table beside her coffee and a plate of pancakes. "The batter's still there on the counter, if you want pancakes."

"No thanks, I'll just have a peanut butter sandwich." Even though she was the head of the household, Katherine hadn't exactly morphed into the motherly type, and since here in England they couldn't afford a maid, Anika had had learned to live independently in some ways. Such as getting your own breakfast.

They ate silently, and Anika read the back of the orange juice carton as she chewed. It was a habit with her that if no one was talking and she hadn't brought anything to read, she just studied the label of the nearest object. 

Finally she crammed the last bit of sandwich into her mouth, then said after she swallowed, "I'm taking a walk."  
"Hey don't forget to wash your dishes first," Katherine replied without looking up.

"Oh yeah! Right, sorry." Who said Anika was completely used to living independently?

                                                                                                *           *           *

Will had the feeling he should go for another walk again. He didn't understand why, exactly, he just had a feeling.

And so he sat quietly at breakfast through all the Stanton chatter, trying to finish his food as soon as possible.

Then, as he finished his last piece of bacon, he simply sat and waited for the right moment, when the noise level had died down a bit, when his mother would finish discussing whatever she was discussing with Gwen and Max.

It didn't look like they'd be done anytime soon, though, so he got up and stood behind his mother then cleared his throat.

"Mum, I think Will wants to say something," said Max, grinning up at him.

"Oh!" his mother turned around. "Yes, Will?"

"I'm so full," he told her, "Can I just take a walk?"

"Of course dear," Mrs. Stanton replied, smiling. "Just don't stay out too long."

"I won't. Thanks, Mum." Will put on his winter clothes and went out the door.

He didn't have to go very far to find out just why he'd had that feeling. There was Anika, running and skidding around corners again. She fell over, then got up and walked more slowly, wincing.

She's going to get a lot of bruises if she goes on like that… 

Then her eyes widened with relief as she saw him, and her steps quickened.

_Quite different from the Dark one we saw yesterday afternoon,_ Will thought. 

"Will!" she called as she got nearer.

"Yes?" he replied as she halted before him.

"Hey, sorry…about yesterday…" she panted, looking quite flushed. "That was stupid, you didn't deserve that, it was totally impolite, I was overreacting…"

Will had to keep a smile of amusement from creeping onto his face. It really was funny, how her disposition today was completely the opposite of what it had been yesterday.

"That's all right, I understand," he replied.

Anika paused in her outburst of apologies and glanced at him. "Well…thanks…"

"Are you holding up all right?" Will asked.

There was a brief silence, then finally Anika replied, "More or less...to be honest, I didn't really want to think about it. And, well, there's one more thing about yesterday. I, um, kind of made a fire, in the fireplace."

Will looked at her sharply. "Were you thinking of fires, then? What happened?"

"Well, yes, sort of. But the strange thing was, part of it was blue, and part of it was like any normal fire, red and yellow and stuff. But then the colors kind of shifted, and I felt hot and cold at once. And…it scared me. Then I thought something like, 'Oh, just get out!' and it disappeared right away. I freaked out even more, and, I well, ran up the stairs," Anika finished sheepishly.

Will inwardly gave a sigh of relief, but it must have been evident on his face, for Anika was watching him now. 

He felt like beating himself up again. Of course he shouldn't have let her run off like that, what with her emotions running that high! But then, his presence would only have irritated her further, and then something worse might have happened. 

"Sooner or later, though," he said at last, "You're going to have to accept all this. You can't just push it out of your mind."

It was Anika's turn to sigh. "I know it's not that simple. I wish it was." 

Will put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "It's all right, Anika," he replied. "That's why I'm here to help you."  
Anika gave a small smile. "Yeah, thanks."

A/N:

"Lolo" is Filipino for Grandfather and "Lola" is Filipino for Grandmother. And so…is it great or does it suck? Please oh please oh please review! ^_^


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